Checking In!

I just thought I'd check in and make a note that things have been going really well. I don't struggle with cravings anywhere near as badly as I used to. I have been exercising regularly, at least every weekday, and I do it at my convenience. I know a lot of people say it's best to schedule a daily time to do that, but it seems to me that when I relax about it and do it when I am ready, I don't feel like I am obligated to do it. I only do it with my health in mind (not to burn calories or anything else, but to feel better and enjoy my life). Also, I have not weighed myself since the last time I checked in here. I only know that I am eating mindfully, and exercising regularly, both with the intention of improving the quality of my life. On our restaurant night, I don't look for meals with large portions sizes; I am more interested in trying new things, whether they are small or low-calorie or whatever.

It's only been a couple of weeks since I've started to really take responsibility for my emotional eating habits, and I haven't had many urges to go to the refrigerator as a result of some emotion I am feeling. I am doing very well with recognizing these emotions now, and feeling them rather than pushing them away, then letting them go as easily as they came. I am reminded of the many Zen teachings I have learned, that a feeling is just a visitor; it comes and goes. :) I am learning a lot about myself through this experience, and in a way, I'm glad that I have had the chance to endure it. I am slowly learning from mistakes I have made in the past, rather than repeating them.

 I have also come to the realization that it is very helpful to have an outlet for all of this energy I have (which can also be in the form of some emotion), and I have decided to do some things I have always wanted to do, but never have. For instance, I have always wanted to learn how to read music and play an instrument, but never had the drive to do it, and in the past couple of years, I have thought that I am too old to start now (I'm 30). However, I come from a very musical family on both sides, and I can sing well (and have, over a few years, developed a strong appreciation for classical music and opera) and now I am realizing that I still have the rest of my life, however long that may be. It's not too late to start now! So that's what I have been focusing on. I initially wanted to play the violin (because I absolutely love the sound of it), but I feel it would be easier to learn on the piano. I am also getting back into sketching portraits, which I have done on and off (my mother was an artist, and I've tried many times to follow in her footsteps) but I always refer to myself as "an impatient person", a.k.a. set limits on myself. This is no longer an excuse.

So that's where it all stands right now; I am doing very well so far, and for the first time in many years, I think I am really seeing my life for what it is and learning to let go of this crutch I have had for so long. I am excited to see where this takes me! :)