Letting Go

I think a big part of "letting go" of the difficulties and the stress that bogs us down is realizing that it's not going to all change by snapping our fingers. Like most things in life, it takes time. I am reminded of a teacher of the Toa Te Ching who said something to the effect that during meditation, we shouldn't try to force all thoughts out of our mind. When a thought finds its way in, acknowledge it, and gently let it go. If it keeps coming back, do the same thing; let it go. These things must be done slowly, over time, for us to master them.

I think this can be applied to just about anything that will help us change our lifestyle, whether it's quitting drinking, smoking or fast food, sticking to a healthy exercise routine or minimizing food portions, or in my case, switching over to a vegetarian (leaning toward vegan) lifestyle. I find, once again, that I am having trouble sticking to it, but I think I need to take a calm approach to steering myself in the right direction, rather than losing my grip and telling myself "you'd better do this now, or else" or even "I can't do this". I am not living in the moment when I say things like that, and I find as I get older that I say that pretty often!

The big problem right now is that we are also trying our best to save every penny because we may be taking our son on vacation. We had this planned out for over a year, and now we are going to have to wait until the morning we are supposed to leave (this Friday) to find out whether it would be irresponsible to do this because we are starting to fall behind on bills right now. Money has been pretty tight since I stopped working full-time. That said, the menu for this week consists of frozen food, loaded with preservatives that we had in the freezer for some time, but never ate until now, lol -- and there is a reason for that! We'll see if it was worth it.

Meanwhile, I realized that I completely forgot my doctor's appointment, which was supposed to be on the 15th! I have a few things that I need to talk to her about. I need to constantly, constantly remind myself that health comes first!! Anyway, I should mention that giving up coffee has been the most difficult part of all this, and once I start with the coffee, everything else goes right out the window. I wish there was a way I could drink coffee and not overindulge. I think that plays a huge role in why I am so tired all the time, and I find that I feel that way very shortly after I overdo it with the coffee! No good!

I am a work in progress...