Happiness Is In This Moment

So I sometimes find, as I'm in the middle of a tough workout, that my mind will try to drift away from what's going on in that moment, and while I'm working out, it's usually to the next workout, and the next one, and the next one. I find myself thinking "wow...this is a hard workout. I don't know if I can do this tomorrow, and the next day and the next day!" I start to see my workouts as too overwhelming for me, and this can bring on the feeling that I don't like to exercise. You can see how this type of thinking can be poisonous; specifically, it is detrimental to that determination I have to keep up the routine. I am learning to bring my awareness back to the moment, and to experience the exertion that my body is putting out. I become present in the discomfort; I feel the sweat, and I listen to the music that I'm playing. Whenever my mind starts to drift again, I bring my focus back to the moment. I have never tried yoga, but I believe that is the point of it (along with the benefits to your health, of course!)

Whenever I exercise, I need to understand that I have started "this particular workout" because I made the choice to do it. I'm not forcing myself; I always have the option to stop halfway through, or not to start at all. I can go back to square one (and, if you have been reading my blog, you may know that "square one" was the day my doctor asked me "can you walk 30 minutes a day?") It's like we were told in the weight loss study: think of your healthy choices as "your east". It's always there, even if one day you stop making those healthy choices. You can always go back to your east.

I used to think of health as black and white, with no gray area: you're either counting calories, exercising and losing weight, or you're not. This is not the case, and it's that black and white thinking that has dragged me down every time I've tried to improve myself in the past. I kept doing it for the wrong reasons; I thought that losing weight would lead to happiness. Happiness is in this moment! I just need to experience the moment to experience happiness.